How To Deal With Parent Judging: Happiness Is HOMEMADE!

It baffles me at times when people, especially those who do not have children of their own, find it so easy to say something towards parents based on what they see on the outside. I'm not sure if it's because of the changing times or that we have been slowly forgetting our thousand years old tradition of respect.

I get judged too

I myself have been a target of people who think it's alright to give unsolicited opinion especially about how I take care of my little boy.

When this happens, I jump on the defensive because what they say makes me feel like I am not doing a good job as a mom. I guess, it's part of our culture, not because we mean harm but because we think we are being helpful when we give tips and advices on parenting without really knowing if it's needed or not.

I just let Choi be Choi. 

Ways To Deal 

I have gotten used to the way people think they can just easily tell you what to do. I have come up with 3 effective strategies that make me survive the unwanted encounters. Lol! 

1. Smile 

Yes, it can be annoying, being told what to do or being criticized for not being the perfect parent can be hurtful but by being able to smile about it makes you the bigger person. Smile and shrug it off. They don't have to deal with your parental issues at anyway. 

2. Politely Change The Topic

I have found myself,  more than once, the target of criticism when it comes to raising Choi. I have been given unsolicited advice on what to feed him, how to take care of his skin etc...what makes me stop myself from making rude retorts is by thinking that maybe because they're older, they are licensed to pass on their ways towards us, younger moms. 

When this happens, I politely change the topic so I won't be tempted to become disrespectful. Avoid conflict at all cost. 

3. Stay Proud 

Another effective way of dealing with parent "judges" is by being proud of how your child is growing up to be. I usually tell them that my child is a happy boy because he gets to experience childhood in all of its messy glory! He gets to run around, play, eat with his hands and shout to the top of his lungs when he wants too. 

I look them in the eye and tell them - I have one happy little boy.

One proud Momma here!

Tang is here to help

I am glad that one of my favorites since childhood is here to help us parents deal
with "parental judging". 

Yes, it's true that as a family-oriented nation, Filipinos put a lot of weight on a child's upbringing at home. That is why others are so quick to judge parents for every hair that's out of place, mismatched pair of socks or for every tantrum thrown in public places. As outsiders, we witness these things & automatically associate it as bad parenting. 

As a believer of strong Filipino family ties, Tang knows that we are defined by what happens at home because #WeAreHomeMade. Further, Tang urges you to say #NoToParentJudging and challenges everyone to rise above the judgement.

Tang believes that we are defined by what happens at home. As parents, you do your best to form a home filled with love, warmth and freshness, and those will always matter more than any kind of judgement. 

To push these points and provoke audiences nationwide, the campaign launched a video that will make you rethink your thoughts and judgment against others. 

Watch this:

Have you ever judged a parent? Have you been judged as a parent? Share your stories of #WeAreHomeMade and how we can say NO to #ParentJudging.

Find out more by following TANG PHILIPPINES online, where you can also share with us your stories.

Twitter: @TangPhilippines

To end on a bright note, always remember guys that HAPPINESS IS HOMEMADE! 

nhessie a.

By some surprising twist of fate, I am now a mom...a single one at that! I'd like to think that God has granted my most fervent wish - to become a superhero! At least in the eyes of my one year old boy - Alejandro. I'm a public servant experiencing fulfillment from doing the best I can to change the world in my own little way. A newbie blogger mom/digital mom and so far, I'm having difficulty switching from being the single, career woman I'm used to in the past and the new role I'm dealt with today. I'm an online entrepreneur too - I don't know where I'm going but then again, I already know where I'm from. And I don't ever wanna go back, Join me, in my missteps and misadventures and tell me what you think about my take on LIFE, LOVE and EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN. Welcome to Mama Whale's world!


  1. This hit me hard. Sometimes I judge some parents when I see how they are, but after that I think of the reasons why the parent/s are like that and tell myself that I do not know the real story so I must stop with the judgment. I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent because I'm far from that. I just know that this is a lesson for me, and I would try my best to think thoroughly before I open my mouth, if it would do good or not, because I myself doesn't want to be judged because it's really annoying! So it is just best to do the same. Thank you for sharing this one and that Tang TVC is really good!

  2. I always do number 1. smile. There are times that I want to defend myself but I learn to choose my own battles so I just smile to end the conversation. :)

  3. This is so beautiful! I read your post and was surprised that it suddenly jumped into a Tang-related post, but I got why. What a beautiful video ako din napajudge nung una. Thank you for sharing and teaching us not to judge! :)

  4. You got me sa first sentence pa lang! Gosh! I remember being preggy and friends laughed at our decisions to breastfeed, co-sleep and use cloth diapers. Tinitipid daw namin si baby. I've learned to shrug it off and stay proud of my own ways.

  5. You got me sa first sentence pa lang! Gosh! I remember being preggy and friends laughed at our decisions to breastfeed, co-sleep and use cloth diapers. Tinitipid daw namin si baby. I've learned to shrug it off and stay proud of my own ways.

  6. I saw this video already. I'm glad that Tang made this video to remind everyone not to judge because we don't know the complete or real story.

  7. I think every parent is a victim of this -- we can't please everyone and somebody will always have something to say. Stand proud if you know that you're doing your best.

  8. When you're living with your in laws, everyday seems like a judge-me day. Ugh! It does get to me sometimes but I should just remember your advice. :)

  9. I've seen this video when I friend shared it on fb. :) I couldn't agree more. Parenting is the hardest job of all yet people are the quickest to judge. I guess change should start sa atin din mga mommies. Some mothers are quick to judge other moms who they think are doing the opposite of what they know, when in reality we should be empowering one another, supporting each other along the way. :)

  10. I loved that Tang commercial! They really know how to speak to our hearts, no? I was guilty of being a judgy sanctimummy, especially when I was still a brand new mum, but now I'm trying my best to imagine myself in other mothers' shoes (abuse obviously exempted!).

  11. I can relate so much sis!
    You are doing a good job, keep that in mind. I salute all single moms out there for I know it is a challenge to be one. At the end of the day, we know our kids are growing up nicely, smart and very healthy!

  12. I guess it's easy to judge when you're just looking in and not an actual part of the situation. Yes, you're right. We have to take the higher road and just let them know that even though we respect their intentions, how we raise our kids will ultimately be decided by us and not them. :)

  13. #1 definitely. Pero I couldn't tell anymore if my smile was fine or "ngiting aso" na ba yung ngiti ko sa asar. haha. I've been judged so many times, even up to now, for extended breastfeeding my son. I don't care. haha.

  14. Such a nice video with an equally nice message. I often get judged too but neighbors and at first, I mind. But then Ive come to realize to let them mind their business as I mind my own. I try not to think about those bulong bulungan as long as I know I am being a parent to my kids.

  15. Yes, I get judged as a parent too but I've never encountered anyone openly do it to my face. I just don't care. As long as I have a good relationship with my kids and they are thriving, I don't really care what other people think. :)

  16. People really needs to stop judging mothers on how they raise their child. When I had my twins I get a lot of judgement too, like how a petite girl like me manages to take care of them while having a full time job. We should really just mind our own business. Maybe its safe if they'll give you an advise if you will ask for it not when you really don't need it.

  17. I wasn't able to breastfeed my kids as long as a lot of supermoms and I often feel judged for it. I'm pretty oblivious though because you can't really measure the kind of parenting someone does by just a glance.

  18. I felt sad after watching the ad because it actually happens in our society. I also learned to shrug off those unsolicited advice rather than thinking what people say about us. Good vibes nalang!

  19. when I watched this I am really moved. mostly because I experience said parent judging by my very own inlaws. when in fact, I'm not sure if they have the right to judge me on how I take care of my little angels because their own children are actually raised by their grandparents instead of the parents. nkklk lang talaga.. :3