The other day, I decided to walk down memory lane and read the old NOTES I wrote on my Facebook page.
I remember being overwhelmed with a million different emotions the first time I laid eyes on my little boy. Needless to say, for writers like me, what the mouth can't speak - the pen can explain.
The plan was to either create an email address for him to which I will send him Momma love letters everyday until he's old enough to read and understand or create a totally separate blogsite where the whole world can see how this boy enslaved my heart the moment he arrived on earth. None of which ever happened really so I just decided to write him a "welcome to my life and to the world" letter.
So here is a little wayback wednesday post I wrote for my little boy.
A Love Letter
May 4, 2013 at 10:15pm
No, this is not your typical love letter, wherein you profess your love for some guy who will probably end up breaking your heart.This is not a love letter for some person whom you would want to have a romantic relationship with. No, definitely not that.
This is for one tiny person - who seemed to have - in one blink of an eye, changed my life forever. This letter is somewhat the same but totally different. That one tiny person that moves me into becoming this poetic cheeseball and a telenovela drama queen at the same time.
I remember how in the course of my entire life, I've made some bad decisions and awful mistakes that I wish I could take back. I recall getting hurt and hurting someone back. I've dealt with pain, anger and regret - in no particular order.
But you, yes you...tiny, innocent, incredible you. You have managed to wipe my slate clean. It's like right at that moment I held you in my arms, my heart made an unconscious decision to love you with everything I have.
You know how they say, the wrong decisions sometimes take you to the right places? You are that right place. It felt like all along, all those fleeting moments of wondering where I should be - was bringing me to you. And from then on, I knew my life will never be the same.
All those indecision, wrong moves and what I thought would be a perpetual feeling of loneliness instantly became a distant memory of a hazy past. You wiped it all out.
You know how a book has so many pages, telling a story in so many words, a reader has to read it chapter after chapter to reach the end? Mine only has one page and my story has been told in detail and the end reveals you. You are the beginning and the end. You make me forget half the things I've been through in my life.
From now on, Your tiny hands will be the hands I'll always reach out to when life decides to deal me with hard blows. Your tiny feet will keep me going no matter how exhausting things get. Your cries will be a reminder that you need me and I want to tell you, I'll be here as long as you need me to be. I remember that one last mighty push before everything became a blur, I saw you and I've never been more certain - you are that one miracle that will forever change me.
I know you will soon grow up, we'll ride that rollercoaster together that is called life and now, more than ever, I am oh so sure, I will love enough for the both of us so that you may never want for more. I will fight with you so that you will know that your well-being will always be priority. Decisions after decisions will always depend on you. I won't promise to always be right. To always be perfect but I promise you - I will try to be so that you will know that for you - I will do anything.
This letter is not your typical love letter. This is my testimony - for all the world to see. A promise that you will always be loved and protected. And proof of how you've turned me into mush! :)
I love you my little piece of heaven.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
How about you? Do you write letters to your kids too?