10 Commandments of Single Mommahood : Inspired by Happy Even AfterJournal #Happyat32

Lapse in judgement. That's how I want to put it. But in reality and in the spirit of fairness - I fell in love. It's the usual story, really, girl meets boy, boy makes her laugh, girl falls in love...the rest is history.

Anyway, I won't (once again), go into the gory details of how I became who I am. We will be needing more than just a blogpost for that. 

I just recently celebrated my 32nd birthday and needless to say, I had a little time to reflect. I have a copy of "Happy Even After: A Solo Mom's Journal" by Ms. Ana Santos of Writer's Block Philippines. A perfect journal for first time solo momma's like me who tends to get confused sometimes. 

Solo Momma. Now that's a term I liked the most from the journal. If there's one thing I have learned from my life now - nobody ever becomes ready to be a Mom. If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Attached or not. 

I already have high respects for ALL mothers also solo mothers but when I became one, I understood it even better. Staying tough and working hard to provide for our children. Juggling careers and motherhood - we have super powers! 

After reading short stories and interviews on the journal, I myself have put together my Top 10 Commandments For Single Mommas that I hope I can follow to a T and help other solo mom's like me. I am also hoping that one day, my little boy will be able to read this and check each commandment one by one and say I followed each one of them as he is growing up! 

1. Thou Shall Never Be Too Busy - Make it a point to be there in every milestone, successes and heartaches that he will go through in life. If possible, while holding his hand. 

2. Thou Shall Not Give In To The Puppy Dog Eyes - now, this is subject for reconsideration from time to time. Learn when to let him have his way.

3. Thou Shall Never Yell At Your Child No Matter How Mad You Are - a calm eye to eye conversation is the key. 

4. Thou Shall Live And Eat Healthy All The Time - aspire to become leaner and healthier. Make healthy lifestyle a habit for you and your kid/s. 

5. Thou Shall Take Care Of Your Appearance - it is important to still maintain that youthful glow and aura you once had. Happiness is the best outfit. 

6. Thou Shall Vow To Develop Her Strengths And Use It For Good - find your passion. Learn a hobby. Anything that will help you  improve professionally and personally. 

7. Thou Shall Never Succumb To The Temptations Of Temporary Relationships - Never be the meantime girl. Don't allow yourself to be mistreated, misused or lured into a relationship that will make you sacrifice your self-worth. Being a solo momma is not equivalent to desperate or lonely. KNOW YOUR WORTH. 

8. Thou Shall Have "Me Time" To Regroup Once In A While - take time to be alone once in a while. To gather your wits, solo motherhood can be a little too much on the sanity sometimes! 

9. Thou Shall Never Deprive Your Child Of His Father's Identity Or Presence - No matter what caused your falling out, your child should never have to suffer the bitterness of a relationship gone bad. 

10. Thou Shall Teach Child That Love Comes In Many Forms And He Will Never Want For Love - Ever. Make sure you both surround yourselves with family and friends who loves you and stick with you through thick or thin. That way, your child will feel that he won't need to look for love in all the wrong places. This should help boost his confidence too.

You see my dear readers and fellow solo mommas' "You, me, or nobody is going to hit you as hard as LIFE..." Yes, at first, when we find out we're pregnant and have to raise a child solo, it may seem as though the world has stopped and we are limited and confined within the meanings of Single Motherhood. But really, looking for support from others like us, creating everyday mantras and listing down our own guides will help - in ways you can never imagine. 

I'd like to quote Ana and her unforgettable line from the journal: 

" How do I deal with the oxymoron of being single and at the same time being a mother? 

I don't. i just live it.

I embrace it, knowing that while the Singleton identity may (or may not!) be a temporary one, being a mother is not.

It's a lifetime of having a piece of my  heart living and breathing outside of me" 

Please Check out Happy Even After for more information about this journal and other events for solo mommas'! 

nhessie a.

By some surprising twist of fate, I am now a mom...a single one at that! I'd like to think that God has granted my most fervent wish - to become a superhero! At least in the eyes of my one year old boy - Alejandro. I'm a public servant experiencing fulfillment from doing the best I can to change the world in my own little way. A newbie blogger mom/digital mom and so far, I'm having difficulty switching from being the single, career woman I'm used to in the past and the new role I'm dealt with today. I'm an online entrepreneur too - I don't know where I'm going but then again, I already know where I'm from. And I don't ever wanna go back, Join me, in my missteps and misadventures and tell me what you think about my take on LIFE, LOVE and EVERYTHING ELSE IN BETWEEN. Welcome to Mama Whale's world!


  1. love your list. hugs. happy birthday again. you are blessed to have so many people loving you.

  2. Thank you sis! I'm glad you are my friend! 😄😄😄

    1. I'm glad to have you as mine, as well. <3 see you soon!

  3. You are blessed and lucky sis, most especially that you have a very adorable boy.
    And yes, you're right: If there's one thing I have learned from my life now - nobody ever becomes ready to be a Mom. If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Attached or not.

  4. It's hard enough to be an attached mom, so much more for being a solo mom. I salute moms like you. :)

  5. Your son is lucky to have such a devoted mom.

  6. Solo mothers are the strongest women on earth. Hats off to you, sis!

  7. I was moved with your post. Being a single mom is indeed tough yet an interesting job to be done.

  8. The list still applies even if you have a partner. It has always been my stand that "being a single parent is nothing to be pitied about". I have so much respect to single parents, fighting!