Finally, after being such a coward for almost 4 years, I finally realized, if I wanted to help change the world one step at a time in my own little way or maybe to get my points and ideas across, I really needed to move my tushy, grab hold of my pen and with a little push from my long lost and then found good friend,Millie - I am back with my forever first love - ❤️ writing. (Or at this day and age - blogging). 

I look up at the clock and see that it's 4am and every reason why I write hit me in the head like a ton of bricks falling out of the sky. (Seriously, I was gonna say like a dead person coming back to life only to realize he wasn't really dead all this time but the bricks sounded more dramatic...haha). So here goes:

1. I write because I never want to forget -  whatever I felt, whatever sparked an idea in my head, I knew that I can always remember the exact same feeling at that exact same moment that pushed me to document everything in words. Frustrations, triumphs, hopes and dreams - all written down and can be read again if ever I wanted to step back in time. 

I write because I'm afraid to lose a single word, a single meaning or a single thought. There is comfort in knowing that any time I want, I can just read them again and REMEMBER. 

2. I write because it calms my nerves - it's similar to talking to a trusted friend. Venting out all your thoughts, opinions and feelings - only this time, there is no one to talk back or interrupt.  A no holds barred moment - my moment - my time where no one can downplay your emotions or laugh at your silliest point of view. It allows me to self-soothe like a baby being taught to calm themselves.

3. Different but really the same with #2 - I write for peace of mind - I know that whatever is written, whether I use a fictitious character or talk mostly about myself, I get to apologize for a mistake, propose an idea or event celebrate triumphs that I can't do actually. 

That feeling, similar to emptying your brain on paper or in this case, virtual paper quiets my mind like no other music or yoga positions can ever do. (Except for poetry but then again, that's a play of words). 

4. I write because I love to read - it both takes me to places I've never been to before  and yet, in my mind, I have walked all over these places 10,000x over. I read and I write, it's like - I fly and I write. 

5.I write because 24 hours isn't enough for me to stop talking - a frustration of a motormouth. I'm afraid I would foam in the mouth or my brain will foam all over if I stopped talking or if I stop my thoughts from flowing. So those things I cannot say out loud after the socially acceptable human hours, without someone to tell it to - I can always put in writing, it's like talking with my hands. Plus, I can always go back, read what I wrote and then have a conversation starter the next day I see my friends. Clever huh?!

Right now, I am sharing my thoughts cause I want to keep on going, even after I find myself tired, bored out of things to write about. 

This is a reminder to myself that though there are a lot of wrongs in my life, God has blessed me with the ability to put my words into good use - to inspire, to change lives - ultimately my own and make everything right. 

I am a MOM. I am a PUBLIC SERVANT. I am an ENTREPRENEUR - but most of all, I am Nhessie and I'm a WRITER - a good one at that! At least, in my own world.