Thursday, September 21, 2006

future wit me?
we talked a bit about our was a bit but it meant so much...i didn't know he felt that way about me, i'm moved to tears...he said, "i realized we need to do something productive now for our future cause im now decided, you are the one" or something to that effect..hehehe
i realized, i've had my share of serious relationships...i've met different kinds of guys...i've cried so much in the past, i've fooled around without remorse, i've caused them pain as well... a few even asked me to spend their future with them - it caused me to turn the other way and run as fast as i could...everytime they asked, i felt like there's always something missing - i didn't feel ready and i didnt't love them as much as i thought i me a heartless bitch but that's how i believed the game of love must be played.
talks about the future isn't something new to me, i gently decline and tell them i wasn't ready yet, in my mind i was thinking - i have a lot of things to do and i'm not ready to share anything about me with someone on a deeper level...'s i risking my heart again? am i setting myself up for another heartbreak when i say - i am certain too that you are the one? they say, this kind of certainty comes only once - i dont wanna jump ahead of myself but i am second thoughts.
who else would put up with me when :-im so impossible to understand-when i can't give coherent responses to our conversation because i'm spaced out again i blow -things out of proportion resulting to a fight so big i end up making a fool of myself...-i bring myself down insisting i'm stupid - he tells me im the smartest person he knows-i forget where i put my stuff -i fail to understand the obvious - i always need to be reminded of the things i was told to do beforehand
-i'm so cranky and grumpy because i didn't get enough sleep
-i take more than my share of nicotine in the world...-i cuss like a sailor when i'm excited
who else will:
-hold my hand when i'm cold or scared -hug me tenderly and tight -watch me sleep and tell me the next day i sleep like a baby
-watch over me - ready to protect me from harm -talk to me till the wee hours of the morning never letting me feel like i'm alone-call me "hot" and "beautiful" when i feel so ugly,i don't even wanna get out of bed..-read me like a book when i'm trying so hard to hide what i'm feeling hoping it will go away...
finally, he makes me feel so secure knowing that my heart will always be safe in his hands
to end this entry - "i never knew there was FOREVER until YOU came along"
posted by thebrat08 @ 12:47 PM 0 comments

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